Entry For 7/25/2012

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It sucks when you have something that is very hard to understand. For me having MS sucks the most when you go through things and it affects you in that people around you don’t understand. This then sucks because the reaction is never a good one, it is human to fear and hate what they do not understand, and though I don’t think, I get hate as a response I do get anger.

Which sucks when someone doesn’t get that you don’t have control of something, and pushes at you and then the reaction they get makes them mad. Which makes me annoyed and a little mad, which makes things so much worst. Sometimes I just want to not say anything and just be away from everything but that seems to always back fire as me being angry, which in turn does make me angry, cause I really do hate being told what I am. When no one knows what goes on in my mind sometimes I don’t even know what’s really going on in my mind. From my point of view, my mind is like a jungle, I know what it is and what’s there, but I can’t always control or know what is happing in it.

As you can tell I’m a bit annoyed at the moment but writing does help me a lot and I am writing when I am not in a good mood now cause it helps keep my mind stable, well stable for me anyway. I don’t think my mind could be considered stable by any defection at any point in my life but that’s my mind it’s a roller-coaster that’s out of control. Fun allot of the times but as its moments where it’s not fun.

This will be the first time I post something I wrote while not in my normal state of mind so hope it’s not written to badly.

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