Journal entry for September 25

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I bought a new TV last week and it finally got here yesterday and I was a bit shocked because I underestimated the size. Get a 42 inch TV to replace a 24 inch TV, seeing that I thought it was a 32 inch TV because I didn’t want to measure in at the time also I just didn’t care what size it was seen that I was getting anything anyway. But I do like it though it, looks a bit odd in my room.

The past few days I’ve been having quiet hard time with my body, seems as though every time my heart rate jumps my whole body feels like it’s rattling on the insides. Which as you can imagine is not very comfortable and is very difficult to function that way, even makes it hard to walk. At first I thought it was form the lack of basically food in my system’s. Because when I ate would stop after about 15 minutes or so. But I found out it wasn’t from the fact that I wasn’t eating very much Sunday night when I got out of my car and my heart rate jumped just a little bit because I been sitting down for too long I felt a wave go across my entire body.

Oddly enough this is almost 2 weeks after they started happening, which is a really long time for me not to figure out why something is happening to me. But I think the only reason it didn’t occur to me that it was for my heart rate being too high was because I used to keep in my heart beat low at all times. Which today I found out I can no longer do, along with the fact that I seem to be writing backwards as in right to left. Which at first I didn’t believe until actually looked down at paper I wrote the number 25 and I wrote the five and then the two. Was actually kind of funny seeing the handwriting was a little bit better than normal it still was really bad but still. I started to think my right hand in my left hand are being confused by my brain which am totally fine with I never knew the difference anyway.

I haven’t been writing as much as I like mostly because of how I feel; it’s not really pain and it’s not really numbness. It’s more like numbness combined with pain and forced the weakness like someone’s tickling that spot for very long time to the point where it’s actually starting to hurt all at once. This makes it very very very hard to focus on anything at all must less focusing on creating entire storyline that makes sense, then creating dialogue for the characters in the story line, then adding expressions to those characters emotions, then putting them in a place that’s not just an empty dark room. But hopefully I’ll be doing that tomorrow while leaning back and resting and using my TV as a monitor so I don’t have to be too close to my computer having to lean forward and bend my back very much so here’s hoping.

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