Even with all that I have to deal with every day I haven’t given up, which surprises me. Reason being is because I really don’t have a reason not to give up and give in to the insanity that my mind has become, but yet I fight with every thought to stay in control. Maybe it because there is so much I want to do and see that I just can’t give up until I do, or more likely it’s just that I feel there is something I must do. My reason for being created, that I must do. The purpose that god put me on this earth for you could say is what it is but I have no clue what I need to do.
Year Is Ending Soon
This year hasn’t been the best to say the least, it’s just about over and it seems like it has just began. So many things I have planned for this year have gone undone, well really they are just unfinished. Most if not all have been started but have gone unfinished. The worst part of it is the reasons they aren’t done, its either, I get interrupted when I start and forget to finish, or I’m in pain or feeling so sick from the side effects of my medicine that I can’t even think straight. It sucks because I honestly thought that dealing with being sick would be easier than it is but it unbearable sometimes. Oddly enough it’s not the pain that’s the worst it’s the losing control of my mind, not being able to keep a thought in my mind for more than a minute or so, or having my mind just wonder of in the middle of doing something.